i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
