spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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