Kareoke will never be a sober sport
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
