K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
