please come you make the beer taste better
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
