well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
