i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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