If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
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Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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