Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
not ubering you a puppy
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize