He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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