Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
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It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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