last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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