I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
