hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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