shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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