Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
