My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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