i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
