oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
