He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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