You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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