i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
