If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
