it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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