I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
