she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize