she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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