She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
