So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
so much tequila, so little girl.
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