Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
