If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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