8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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