I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
