you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
