porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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