His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
