another moral hangover. fuck.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
