if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
