Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
