$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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