Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
