I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
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I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
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I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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