She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
