Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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