So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
