Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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