WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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