He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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