He is an equal opportunity slut.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
