The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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