Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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