Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
