Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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