No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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