If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
