at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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