Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
