my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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