Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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