I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize