Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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