it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
