is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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