Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
