I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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